Thursday, January 8, 2009

Organizing your corner of an American Apocalypse

Americans are a funny group of people. Take for instance our massive insurance industry. We have comprehensive insurance for just about any situation that could afflict us.

The average American family has auto insurance for each car, in case you get hit by another driver, crash into a tree, and everything in between. You have extensive health insurance for yourself, your spouse, and each child, in case of an injury or disease.

You have property insurance which covers damage to the exterior of the house, content insurance for anything that could be stolen inside, maybe some special insurance depending on where to you live to cover flood, earthquake, or whatever geographic oddity that your region is prone to.

You even have life insurance, in case of your untimely demise, giving your family or relatives something to help them in troubled times.

And yet,

Almost no one has the most basic insurance in case something bad happens that the companies can't cover. That being some extra water, food, and disaster supplies.

Let me spin this another way. You pay thousands of dollars each year (do the math yourself if you want) on multiple forms of insurance, but you won't spend a few hundred for a one time box of supplies that may help you and your family when times are darkest?

That's what this site and the "Empty shelves" guide hopes to change. To be upfront, I'm not selling anything here. There are no links to special survival sites, no religious overtones, no books on the end of the world. America should be better than what it is now, and more prepared. I love this country, but I firmly believe that families should take extra precautions.

Heck, you're paying for coverage on everything else, why leave this to chance?

Empty Shelves

Summary:

A simple, “how to” guide that helps the average American weather the storm of a national crisis.

It's a workday afternoon and the power has just gone out in your city. You have no cell phone, a quarter tank of gas, and you don't know how to contact your children. You haven’t done a single pushup in the last five years. The radio in your car is only picking up emergency broadcasts. You have some difficult decisions to make in the next 48 hours that will change your life forever, and you're not ready. Don't worry. You're not alone. You are about to become an “armchair survivalist.”

If you are like a lot of Americans who work behind a computer, this is your worst nightmare. What you only thought could happen in the movies is your new life. You're not nearly resourceful enough to go to the woods and "live off the land". Forget all that nonsense about skinning your own rabbit and eating insects. You're going to go back to your home and be with your family.

So make the most of it. There are plenty of supplies within walking distance of your house that will help make life bearable during the dark hours. You will learn to move without the mob, to band together with friends and neighbors if possible, and to keep everything you hold dear safe from the raging population that will develop into a destructive mob before your eyes. You can do this. You now have help.

Chapter 1: Hell in a Hand Basket


"In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning." -A. E. Housman

No matter what crisis develops, you are at best, an "armchair survivalist". The country you live in has so many layers of convenience, so many basic needs that are taken for granted, so many interconnected systems of daily living that we are dependent on, describing them all would take volumes. Suffice it to say that we are a land of luxurious, easy to use, hands free, soft touch product users. It has taken us about 80 years to reach this wonderful pinnacle of "runaway consumerism". Our Internet is tied to our phones, which is tied to our banks. We can now use the cable company to watch television, use Internet, and phone lines, all on one bill. With even a moderate amount of money, and some online shopping, we now never have to leave our homes to survive.

Even though I grew up when the CD and computer were new, it is still a marvel to watch the new technological toys we are putting out every year. Our businesses are tied to elaborate wireless email and networking systems. Our cars now have built in DVD, GPS, and push button roadside service. Our boats have the ability to determine global location at all times. You can track your loved ones plane flight from gate to gate. Packages can be rerouted in transit, with a single text message.

America has, for all intents and purposes, made it as easy as it’s going to get. Congratulations red white and blue, you have done what all other nations have aspired to achieve! You've created a society of out-of-shape, lazy, Madden playing, pizza ordering, latte chugging, "text anywhere" zombies who at the first sign of trouble will probably just start chewing off their own arms for food.

Maybe I’m being too critical. Americans can deal with a crisis, as long as it’s small, and the inconvenience is short. Several years ago, in Boulder, Colorado I witnessed my first "true" power outage. The entire Western United States grid had gone down, and our software office had gone dark. It was the middle of a summer afternoon; the sun was still beaming through most of the windows.

Our office phones were dead, along with the Internet. Cell phones were up, for a while anyway. With the systems down our office manager didn’t know what to do with the employees, so we were given the rest of the afternoon off. I took a short walk down to the main drag where the highway ended and Main Street began. I watched, as cars in a large intersection didn’t know exactly what to do. The stoplights were out, and it was hard to tell who arrived at an intersection first, what with six lanes on each side. Some cars just went for it, some stayed longer than they should. Tempers were raised, and honking horns were frequent.

Bank employees just stood outside in the parking lot. The grocery stores were forced to let people abandon their carts while they escorted them out of the store. The aisles were too dark to see where to put back the items.

The city of 90,000+ was at a standstill, and it stayed that way for the next 4 hours. In less than an hour local police went to the busiest intersections within the city limits and directed traffic by hand. It had probably been a while since any of them had used their whistles, but they did a pretty good job.

Store managers stood in front of their shops and turned people away. Some simply locked their doors. Everything went fairly smoothly. I did see a few people try to enter the grocery store closest to me, each time the manager explaining that the cash registers couldn’t ring them up. Not that it mattered; the back of the store was pitch black.

Sometime later that afternoon the lights came back on, and everyone went back to what they were doing. In some ways it felt like a large fire drill. Everyone calmly walked outside, milled around quietly, and waited for it to be over. What makes this situation different from the nasty version that starts looting and puts human life at risk? Most of the people in town didn’t know why the power went out.

It’s the unknown that gives people pause. It’s the mystery that forces people to stop and think about their decisions. Within an hour after the lights stopped working, people in their cars listening to radio stations still broadcasting found out the entire Western power grid was in the middle of a rolling blackout. There is still some debate on where exactly the breakdown occurred. The important thing was that the authorities didn’t tell anyone exactly what happened, or how long it would take to fix. It’s good policy. Never give the public information they could use against you.

To put it another way, if a teacher walks out of a classroom, the kids will have one impression. When that same teacher runs out of the classroom, and is then seen getting into their car and driving away, the children then develop a very different attitude.

Compare the West Coast grid failure, or any East Coast Blackout, with one where the reason is exposed immediately like the 1994 Los Angeles earthquake.

Watching CNN during the first few days after that particular California quake was surreal. There was some stunning video footage. Dark beauty as water mains gushed from the streets, fire burning in the middle of the water through an ignited gas main. I sat in mild shock as I watched Korean gun shop owners standing on the roof of their store, firing wildly at looters that came within 100 yards, the police nowhere in sight.

And then there were the shopping mall videos. In any modern structure, there are some backup systems when the power goes out. Hospitals have generators that can keep a surgical team going for a short duration. Many buildings have some sort of emergency lighting, and a few select ones have cameras with battery backups, catching everything that people do when they think they aren’t being watched.

The Northridge California earthquake proved something we all know, but rarely admit. For a great many of us, we do what we can get away with. Cameras caught the looting action as it unfolded. The earthquake hits, the lights go out. Within seconds, the inner hallways of the shopping malls erupted in chaos. People of all ages ransacked the shelves with greedy abandon. What surprised me wasn’t that they did it, but the speed at which everything escalated. The looting was immediate, reckless, and illogical. Electronics, shirts, shoes, alcohol, everything stripped from the stores except the basic necessities.

No one stole water or food. They stole cigarettes and alcohol. They didn’t steal batteries, they stole cell phones. Why?

Because the public was armed with very valuable information and then their short-term instincts took over. They knew eventually the city would get the power back on. The gas and water mains would be repaired, and sooner or later, the police would be able to protect the stores, just not right now. The looting masses knew that this crisis was limited to their part of California, and it wouldn’t last forever.

Food, water, anything that might help them in a real emergency was the furthest thing from their minds. The luxury items were the main target. Anything that was expensive or sellable was priority. These items were important because they knew the currency would still be valid when the lights came back on. The physical dollar would still have value because only part of California was affected. As long as the currency remains intact, there is a good chance that normal life will continue, provided of course that active food distribution lines exist.

The aftermath of Katrina showed us an even darker aspect of economic disruption. The earthquake was replaced with flooding, and again, the power was out for an extended period of time. The city population realized that the hurricane and large amounts of standing water caused the blackout, and looting began immediately. The same patterns started, but then evolved.
At first, the looting, like in Los Angeles, started with luxury items. Electronics, shoes, cigarettes, liquor, and firearms, were taken quickly. After a while, as the water didn’t subside, and there were no signs of National Guard, the basic items became much more attractive. Food, water, batteries, the things that could keep you alive, these replaced everything else.

Law enforcement officials were overwhelmed, and the water hindered their mobility. In LA, most of the streets were still drivable after the earthquake. In New Orleans, some of the streets had water higher than the roof of a truck. On foot, the police and sheriff’s department became fatigued quickly. A number of them just gave up and deserted their posts, or worse, they joined in with the looters.

Some of the authorities did have a plan. Before the winds had even died down, a local SWAT team had been dispatched to an outlying Sam’s club with orders to secure it for "local forces". During a state of emergency, authorities have broad powers to take private supplies and buildings for their use. The storeowner was contacted and a list of all supplies taken was to be billed back to the New Orleans police department. This debt was eventually forgiven once the extent of the disaster was known. While some would condemn this law enforcement unit for what could potentially be branded as a "selfish act", it hardly compares with a different division of the same police department, which was accused of breaking into a local Cadillac dealership and driving out of the city with 40 new cars while the city quickly filled up with water.
At night, gangs roamed the dark streets, creating anarchy wherever they went. During the day, the masses emptied the stores of anything and everything. It was a limited exercise in chaos management. What would a general population do if left on their own without outside help for an undetermined period of time?

The only thing that couldn’t be measured was the same population ‘without hope." All the New Orleans residents who gathered around the superdome had some faith and were counting on aid. There was a small army of reporters on the scene who had flown in on helicopters. The news teams and camera crews constantly reminded the people that help was eventually coming. This and the fact that the cameras were recording many sections of the city probably helped save it.
What would happen to that same city if the reporters weren’t there, and the citizens knew that the National Guard wasn’t coming?

It’s the one thing in America we haven’t seen yet. What happens without help from the outside? Everything we have dealt with until now has been contained, been compartmentalized. An Earthquake happens in San Francisco, we send help. The Mississippi overflows and we send help. Like a giant immune system, we absorb and adjust. The question still remains: At what point are we stretched too thin, and can the American culture pull itself back from the brink?
To be sure, not all of America is vulnerable. For sake of argument, we’re going to leave out all the remote farming communities because they are remarkably self-sufficient. If you live in one of these very small agricultural groups, you still might be able to get something out of this, such as what the nearest large town closest to you might be going through, what random groups of cars might be thinking as they drive up your long country road, or more importantly, what kind of essential goods you might be able to trade for, and where the nearest place to get them could be.

In a long-term environmental disaster, farms stand to lose more than others, depending on the situation. If the natural catastrophe in question were a comet, it would suggest that crops would have a hard time growing. If that’s the case, then livestock and perishables should be traded away as quickly as possible. A farm has a lot of assets going for it, though most would be short term.

If you happen to have a survival cabin somewhere in the North West states, such as Montana, Idaho, or the Eastern part of Washington, then you already know this drill, and quite frankly, have probably spent a huge amount of time preparing for the worst. You are therefore excluded from most of the chapters. Enjoy your powdered milk and cured meat sitting next to your propane or wood stove. I’m sure you’re very content.

The only other people I have to exclude is anyone currently living or about to move to Utah. For those of you who don’t know, "practicing Mormons" keep at least a year’s supply of food and water on hand for each member of their family. It’s a religious obligation. Sounds a bit strange I know, but from a "survival" standpoint, I can’t really argue the logic. With this in mind, and I can see some of you cringing already, if America starts collapsing in on itself, Utah will most likely be the last to go quietly into the night. It's simple math. They already have an extra year’s supply of food right out of the gate, in non-rationed portions.

The rest of us live in a suburb, our own version of "Elm Street." You have at least one strip mall close by and maybe a full size indoor shopping center down the road. There are fast food chains within a mile or two, and then the usual restaurants like Chili’s, Cracker Barrel, etc. Outside that you have a bulk store like Sam’s Club or Costco, or both. The neighborhoods interconnect endlessly, and gas stations are plenty. You know the names of some of the neighbors on your street, the name of your children’s school, but probably couldn’t say who the mayor was.
Most of your bills are paid online, and most of your direct purchases are done by credit card, which by the way is carrying a balance most months. You have car payments, a mortgage (or two), and have either been divorced, separated, or are seeing a marriage counselor.
You have a 20% of being a smoker, and a 67% chance of being at least 20 pounds overweight (33% that it’s 50 pounds or more).

You could have some relatives in state, some out of state. You may have a pet, probably at least one dog, or a few cats. If your yard is big enough, it’s possible you plant a small garden when the weather is nice. You have a favorite restaurant or bar that you frequent.
Your office is 10-20 miles away. You either have a large cubicle or a smaller office with no windows. You work hard, but think you’re underpaid. This may, or may not be, your life.
What do all these things have to do with the scenario? In a major crisis all of these little details will affect your outcome in one way or another. These are the cards you have to play with. The dealer now shows their hand.

Chapter 2: The cards you've been dealt


"He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened" - Lao Tzu

You are at your office. The power has just gone out. Cell phones work, but you are having a hard time getting an outside line. You leave your cube, walk down the aisle, and look out the window. All the office buildings next to you are out as well.

If you are like many offices, upper management will assume that the outage is limited to a few blocks. They will wait a while to see if things come back on. The emergency lights in the bathrooms, as well as the plumbing, still work. Everyone at the office is bored, because all computers and phones are down. A few people try their laptops, but they can’t get out to the Internet.

Boredom turns to annoyance as an hour goes by. If it’s before lunch, management may wait another hour. If it’s after lunch, they probably just call it a day and send everyone home.

Traffic is a little slower on the drive back. Rush hour will be staggered because of the outage. All stoplights are down, and single police units direct the cars through busy intersections. You get home. The lights are of course, out, but the water is running. You have natural gas, but the power to run the furnace isn’t on. You have a wood stove, but only a few logs.

Your spouse isn’t home yet. Maybe he / she went to get the kids. The dog looks at you for attention. Another hour goes by. Your family arrives. The kids go upstairs to their rooms, which are lit through the windows by the afternoon sun. They try to entertain themselves using portable electronics. It wouldn’t have been their first choice, but at least it's a distraction.

Two more hours go by, and you start to get curious.

There are no portable radios in the house, so you use the one in your car. Most of the stations aren’t broadcasting. The few that you do find are playing an endless loop of the emergency broadcast system. There are a few other people on the block doing the same thing. You tell your spouse. The kids overhear, but don’t understand. The dog still wants attention.

These are the cards you’ve been dealt. You have some decisions to make, and they can’t wait. Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. Follow the steps.

Step 1: Gain some confidence, right now.

Get yourself in the right frame of mind, and do it quickly. Don’t assume the worst, because it will eat you up. Try not to cover all your bases right away. Organize your priorities. As of right now you don’t have any appointments or meetings. You don’t have any flights to catch.

Your primary concern is the comfort and safety of your immediate family. They are looking to you for support, for reassurance, for guidance. Show confidence at all times. The old military posture still applies: For good or bad, be confident in your decisions. If the decision was wrong, then change direction, but do it with confidence. Nothing makes people lose faith quicker than watching their leader waiver when important things are on the line.

Confidence gives you strength. Confidence gives you the ability to do things without much question from others. Confidence allows you to walk the edge, or cross the line if needed. If you’re committed that it’s a good decision and you can confidently explain why, there is a solid chance that others will follow you, back you, and defend your ideas in your absence.

Step 2: Don’t rush.

In the long term, seconds aren’t going to make that much of a difference. Moving faster than normal gets the blood levels up, and teases the adrenalin factor. It also helps induce panic, and with it some bad decision-making. Don’t do it. Be brisk, but be calm. Keep the energy levels at a managed pace. Don’t drag anyone anywhere. Speak to your family in low tones, but be serious. Don’t yell. It doesn’t help. If your children don’t want to listen, try to explain what’s going on, but do it logically. “Just because I said so” probably won’t fly. Think of something else.

Step 3: Should you stay or should you go?

It’s a difficult choice, and you may or may not have to make it. Is there somewhere you would rather be? Do you have family members that live within driving distance, and by that I mean how far you can go with the gas that's in your tank right now. If they aren’t within range, you’re not going. If you’re thinking of a round trip and you don’t think you’ll make it back, you’re not going. The only exception here is if you have a neighbor who you’re close with, someone you can borrow a vehicle from.

There is some breathing room here. If you have a pretty good idea that your tank will run dry within a few miles of your destination, and you have no intention of coming back, then discuss the plan with your spouse and make the call. Keep in mind your betrothed may want to go to his / her relatives house, or have them come to you. This needs to be decided first thing. The window for these options gets closed fairly quickly in the grand scheme of things. Deciding in the next few hours will make the situation a lot easier on you.

If you do decide to vacate your house, there are a few things you need to take care of. Assume that you won’t be coming back for a while. This means you should take everything that you might find useful. Leave a few lights on so that if the power comes back there will be light if needed, and contrary to what others may tell you, don’t lock anything. The average house is designed to deter crime, not prevent it. If your door is locked, and someone really wants to get in, they will just choose a window, or sliding glass door.

You’re not prepping your house for when you go to Europe. When you’re touring France, neighbors and friends back home don’t usually ransack your home looking for supplies. When these groups eventually figure out that it is vacant, they are coming in, locked door or not. If it’s unlocked, and you do return, at least you won’t come back to broken glass and shattered deadbolts.

Think carefully of other family members who might be in driving distance. Will they be trying to get to you? Do you have close friends with no family in the area who might look you up? If you answered “maybe” to the question, then play it safe and leave a few simple notes. One on the kitchen counter is good. If you want to give the neighbors a heads up, tape a quick one to the door. Something like:

Went to parents farm in Arlington,
451 East Maple Drive
Left May 14th
Jason, Carol, Timmy, Julie

The names may seem unnecessary, but it’s good to let people know who was in the group.

So go already. Load up the family and pets. If the pets aren’t that important, leave a back door open so they can come and go as they please. Animal’s survival instincts are honed a lot sharper than yours oh balding monkey. They also don’t have a conscious to deal with.

Good luck in your journey, and when you get there, read on!

Step 4: Taking stock.

At this point you’ve either decided to stay, or have already arrived at your destination. See? You’re making decisions already, and you haven’t even thought about eating people!

Seriously, you’re doing great. The next step is figuring out what you have, and in most cases, what you don’t have but need. This is probably the most time consuming part of the beginning, but it doesn’t have to be full of anxiety. To make it easier, I’ve come up with a few easy to follow lists. These lists include a comprehensive set of "must haves", "should haves", and "why nots" that you should be at least thinking about prior to this day of reckoning. Before we get to that though, let's see if there is anyone close by that can help you in acquiring the items on your list. It may be time to make peace with the lady who consistently lets her lab take a big dump on your lawn.

Chapter 3: Band of Neighbors


"True friends stab you in the front" - Oscar Wilde

A survivalist in a suburban setting, is a strange paradox. On one hand, standard Rambo type doctrine preaches that the survivalist must be alone, because there is no one that can be trusted. They should live a solitary life, filled with religious discipline and sacrifice. They are a human fortress. They are a piece of metal. They are emotionally devoid of mercy and kindness.

I appreciate that the “true survivalist” is committed to their trade, much like a serious method actor. You are not this person. You are a social creature. After half a day sitting home alone you are climbing the drapes, looking for some interaction with the rest of the community. Then again, maybe you just play computer games all day long.

For you people who consider solitary confinement the ultimate torture, I will share a secret with you. The chances of you and your family living longer than the lone individual increases dramatically if you can get by with a little help from your friends. There is safety in numbers. You will find a better variety of skills with a group. A group has a collective mind, and if set on a goal, can come with creative ways of accomplishing it.

But there’s a catch. You have to pick the right people, and after that, no one joins the club unless the entire group is in agreement. Trust is everything here. The wrong people join the group, and it can fall apart. I’ll use a friend of mine as an example. Her approach to the neighborhood group is a good model of what can be expected.

Example: The neighborhood of Renaissance, Colorado

The power goes out, and right away it looks like it could be a long time before it, and order, is restored. A single mother in her late 30’s starts the chain. She only contacts people she can trust, and all of these people have a useful skill that can benefit the group. She looks up a contractor to improvise repairs when things break or are destroyed She finds a doctor to treat minor wounds, and assess major ones. She tracks down a good friend who is handy with firearms, because not everyone knows how to shoot. She contacts women who have a strong survival instinct. These are women who would fight to stay alive. No “girly girls” or useless “blob men” allowed. Everyone in this ensemble is motivated, and willing to do what it takes to weather the storm. Everyone chosen has something to bring to the table. In this situation, everyone's got game.

They all meet at one house, and decide the best place to “hold up.” They decide to pool their resources and take shifts sleeping. Most importantly, they form a pact, and swear never to turn on each other, no matter how hungry, or how tired. Without this pact the group is vulnerable from within. There can be no “secret stashes” kept by anyone. To function as a single unit, everything has to be laid out on the table, right now. Any personal issues should be cleared up within 24 hours. They agree on a total of 8 people. This group could function as well with even 12 if needed. If members are added, and the social dynamics take a downward turn, then it needs to be changed, but done fairly.

They end up combining supplies from two houses that reside next to each other. They have battery powered 2 way camping radios, and use them frequently. At night, the groups are split evenly, in case of an emergency. Things work better than they had hoped. One of them gets an older power generator working, and another finds a way to hook it up to the direct TV. The doctor breaks into his own hospital and gets enough medical supplies to hold them for the duration. The gun enthusiast teaches everyone how to shoot with purpose.

The group decides against trading with other neighbors to increase inventory. It was a close vote, but in the end, the added risk of unwanted attention outweighed the additional supplies it generated. Their strategy is simple. Gather as many supplies as they could in the first few days of looting, then barricade themselves in their homes and keep a very low profile. Create the illusion that they are as desperate as anyone else. Giving the rest of the hungry community a small target is a solid plan. The neighborhood leaves them alone for the most part. Confidence is high that their friendship and wits will get them through this, and they may be right. It's a good start. - - -

I’m not going to go so far and say something cheesy like “with friendship anything is possible”. It does help. I suppose a better saying is: People are sometimes at their best when things are at their worst. How I wish that were a consistent theme. There are a hundred things that could go wrong with the Renaissance group. There could be a hidden affair between couples. Someone with a criminal past could be exposed. There could be a psychological disorder that has been buried. There could be a unknown pregnancy.

There are also the routine survival problems. One couple is hording food for the kids; accusations of not giving their share, letting someone get hurt, etc. Any situation involving drama is possible, but then again, it could happen in a single family as well. The odds say that in the short term, the group scenario has some great advantages, both in resource gathering and protection. As supplies get thin, it can get more difficult. If the bonds of friendship are strong enough, the group has a chance of staying together to the bitter end, a great testament to the human spirit.

If you really want to be multiple steps ahead of the pack, then talk about this very scenario every few months over drinks during a neighborhood party. Feel the different people out, and see who would be up to the task. Make a mental note of whom you would choose, why you would choose them.. Ask them about what they would do in a major crisis, and where would they go. As long as the topic doesn’t have a dark, brooding tone, your run of the mill neighbor will probably have an opinion on the subject. No need to be secretive, those not chosen will probably ignore this little “block conspiracy.” Even if they do remember, they will be in no position to take advantage of it. You will have the better numbers.

A little trick would be the "bar fight buddies" scenario. Imagine yourself walking into a strange bar far out of town with a small group of people. Suddenly, a mild misunderstanding turns into a full-blown fight, and everyone in your party is going to get roughed up. Who would you want to be there with you, and why? Try not to think about who throws the best punch, but who can handle the stress without being traumatized. After the fight, who tries to take charge and who comforts whom? Look past the action; see who the best under stress. This should help.

Chapter 4: The important things


"Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Over the years I have poured over many different survival lists for just about every disaster known. Aside for the ones that deal with different types of terrain, they share a lot of common threads.

We’re not going to touch different types of landscapes and what you might need for each one. You’re not in the mountains, or in a deep forest, or walking around in some high desert. You’re probably in an average wood framed two-bedroom house with an unfinished basement at the end of a cul-de-sac. If your surroundings are more urban, you might be in a condo or apartment building. If you’re a business traveler, you’re most likely in a hotel. The dynamics are still the same. It’s America, and there is a huge mish-mash of resources scattered for miles around. Some of these resources will be in your residence, and many will not.

There have been countless debates about the priority of “the survival list”. The top ten, the top 20, what resource counts more? To make it easy to read and understand, I will cover each topic and group it into one of three levels (Priority, what you need right now), (Secondary, quality of life items), and (optional / tradable, which covers just about everything else, including things that aren’t on my list, but could be on yours)

Each item or group of items will be given a detailed explanation and some will have examples. The hope here is to allow your mind to think of things as “resources” rather than items. Things that may not be of value to you may be in high demand by others. Each explanation will also cover where you can acquire the item in question, and when it might be available. Please keep in mind that in your environment, there will be many other people who will eventually want the same things you do. The difference here is that you will know exactly what you want before it happens, and you will have a very good idea of Where to get more before others do. Timing is important.

1. Water / consumable liquid: (Priority)

Yes it’s obvious. Yes, it’s critical. It’s number one with a big bullet. You’ve heard it mentioned in movies, television, and books. We’re made up mostly of water, and without it we won’t last long. It’s also taken for granted, and in many reported survival cases, overlooked early. Don’t just skim past this, there are some things you need to know about the most common element on the Earths surface.

The human body is basically just a large contained mass of water. All of our functions, from blood flow to digestion to neural activity, are encased in it. Water consumption is of course based on your weight, metabolism, and diet. Environment will also factor in to some degree. The basics remain the same.

You can only be away from water for about 72 hours, give or take. It is the one resource that is highly recommended not to be rationed. There have been many studies suggesting that drinking a normal amount and then running out is much easier on the body than cutting your drinking in half, then half again. When it comes to water, it’s better to just pull the band-aid off quickly than to peel it slowly off your skin.

Water consumption is also affected by humidity. If you live in a really balmy environment, say, Florida, you will be breathing in water vapor as well as expelling it, so there is a little wiggle room. In an average urban environment, water is your prime concern. Everything else comes second.

The good news: Even if the power goes out state wide, a lot of water stations are tied into backup generators, and some even directly to the source, like a dam or power plant. These generators can keep things moving as long as the fuel holds out.

The bad news: Eventually, if the grid isn’t repaired, the water will stop, and you will have to get more.

There are two paths that need to be considered: Is the water still on, or has it stopped? If it’s still on, then that’s fantastic news for you. This gives you a chance to create reserves. Fill up every plastic and glass container you can think of with water and put a lid on it. If there’s no lid put some plastic wrap over the top. If you have containers in the garage, fill them up, and label them “do not drink”. These can still be used to run toilets if needed (See chapter X). If you have 2 bathtubs, put a rubber stopper in one and fill it up. If you don’t have a rubber stopper use anything to make it watertight. The bathtub water can be used for various things, but I wouldn’t necessarily use it for drinking or cooking, unless your tub is spotless. If you’re like me, it’s not often.

Once you have filled up everything you can think of, go back and see what you left out. Cups, sports bottles, empty soda or wine bottles. If there is a residue that excludes it from cooking or drinking, label it. Don’t forget your washing machine. It may be a bit awkward to get to, but it can hold quite a bit.

This is your base, your backup, and your insurance. If the tap is still running, then rotate water supplies slowly every few days. Water is life, and you now have a good supply. I’m not going to regurgitate all the other guides that want you to use the water tank at the back of your toilet or from your hot water heater. You're not a caveman for Gods sake.

The taps still running, which means you can be liberal with other things. You can flush your toilet as usual. You can take cold showers. If you don’t like cold showers you can fill up your other tub half way with water, let it warm up a bit, then use a washcloth. You can wash dishes, pots, and pans in the kitchen sink.

Life in this area is just a notch or two below normal, until…

“Honey, there’s no water coming out of the faucet”.

You knew it was going to happen sooner or later. If the water was off when you got home, or just stops, or more than likely, the flow becomes weaker and weaker until it’s just a few drips, then you’re going to have to see what consumable liquids you have in the house, and then start planning on where to get some.

Search every cupboard, every cabinet. If it’s drinkable, it’s useful. Bottled juice, seltzer, and diet soda. It doesn’t matter if it tastes good; just find out how much you have. Chances are, it’s worth something. Some exceptions would be liquids that contain a large amount of salt, like spicy tomato juice or bloody Mary mix. It may taste good, but the added salt will increase the rate of dehydration.

Note: Alcoholic beverages have some water in it, but probably not enough to counteract the dehydrating effect of the alcohol itself. The only exception that you can pull off for a while is beer with its low alcohol content. A case of juice is worth a lot more than a case of beer.

Rationing: None. Don’t do it. Drink your normal amount on a daily basis and try to find more. Keeping your body running at regular levels is very important. Also, don’t eat anything if you have no water. You’re body needs water to digest food and it will only dehydrate you further.

Where to get more: There is an entire section dedicated to looting, so techniques on acquiring it, as well as keeping yourself safe is covered later. For the sake of the list, the “where” is almost entirely centered on locations close to your home. How you get in and what you might face is later. You will start forming these questions on your own as you work your way down the items.

Where: Numerous places, in many forms and in different levels of usage. One rule of thumb is that closer is better. This is because water is heavy. Surprisingly heavy. You’re made out of water, think of how heavy you are, cow. Now try carrying someone like you for a few blocks.

The water next door: No you can’t kill your neighbors, yet. Find out who’s not home, and by that I mean who’s left with a note on their door. Search the house the same way you searched yours. Organize your supplies in the afternoon. Carry them back at night.

You’re subdivision may have an artificial lake or pond. It's probably not safe to drink, even if attempts are made to purify it. If you want to boil it or better yet, boil and save off the steam into another container, it may be ok. Water from a neighborhood pool is a little better. Water with chlorine isn’t supposed to be consumed regularly, but it will work in a pinch.

I mention these not-so-attractive options because they are closer than the nearest strip mall, convenience store, or gas station. For higher quality consumable water, you will need to explore these other locations.

The obvious choices: Grocery stores, bulk food stores, pharmacies, the corner gas station, convenience stores without gas. All these places will have pure water, consumable liquids, or both.

Secondary choices: Restaurants, Athletic clubs, office water coolers, commercial building vending machines, educational cafeterias.

Alternates: Collected rainwater. There is no real trick to this. Any plastic sheeting, tarp, even your gutters will work. Rainwater can be pretty clean, depending on where you live. All you have to do is hope for rain. If there is a concern about any contamination, it can be boiled, or partially purified by adding 4-16 drops of household bleach per gallon, depending on taste preference. Any more than that and you run the risk of some digestive issues.


2. Food (Priority)

Water may be life, but food is energy. Calories are literally units of heat. Food keeps your body warm, it drives your system, and it gives you the strength to endure in times of stress. Unlike water, the average human body can go without food for quite some time. Even a fit person with a small amount of body fat can survive for 30 days or more on just water.

Question: Does this mean that fat people will live longer during the apocalypse?

Answer: Unfortunately, Yes. I can’t tell you how much this upsets me. Overweight people have a pretty good chance at living longer than your fitness instructor neighbor!

However,

Like many things, there’s a catch. For those of you who are say, 50 pounds or more overweight, there is a flip side to this coin. If you have a large supply of water and no food, your body will start tapping those vast fat reserves of yours, and you will start to lose weight instead of dying, but your energy will drop dramatically, to less than 20% of their current levels. You will be colder, because there is nothing in your stomach to generate heat. You will have a constant headache, because your blood sugar will be at an all time low, and most of all, you'll be really hungry. I mean really starving. Your thought process will be skewed and blurred. In short, you’ll survive, but suffer the entire time. You’ll look at everything and everyone and see food. My only hope is that if you do outlive all your friends and get rescued by the government, you’ll be grateful enough and use the respect of your loved ones to have a salad every once in a while!

That being said, food needs to be gathered, counted, and estimated. Even 1000 calories a day can keep you around for a long time. Do the math, and figure out how long you can keep going with what’s in your house.

Eat all perishable foods first. These include fruits and vegetables, anything in your deli shelf, milk, anything that will expire in the next week. Then, eat everything in the freezer. Cook what you can, use a pan in the fireplace if you have to. Once these items expire, they are useless to you, so eat and overeat (the only time I will endorse this).

Have all perishables been eaten? Good. Now you can spread out your canned goods, the rice, flour, popcorn, oils, condiments, anything with calories counts, and the higher the better. Sweets too. I could break down the food into smaller groups, but eventually, it’s all going to be eaten.

The good news: Starvation fools the palette. Up until now, eating for most Americans has come down to: “What am I in the mood for”. There is so much cheap food in this country it just staggers other nations. There are many tasty varieties in unlimited supply; it’s no wonder we've been blowing up like balloons over the last 30 years. Maybe this “end of the world” situation is a good thing. Maybe a good chunk of the United States population will make it through this tribulation because we’ve neglected our bodies for so long.

When you get really hungry, just about anything tastes good, so if you want to have a bowl of rice with a mix of mayo and ketchup, it will do just nicely. Old candy? No problem. Your body will adjust and every meal you have will have the most vibrant flavors. This won’t apply to foods you already hate.

Try to mix fats and proteins and carbohydrates. Your body wants them. Mix the basics equally if you can. Try not to spend a week eating nothing but canned beets. You’re body will not be happy with you, and really, eating beets for a week is just weird.

Be a member of the clean plate club. Eat everything out of the can. If there is some packing water, see if you can cook with it. Lick everything clean as soon as you can. Don’t get caught going through the leftovers later.

Food requires water to digest. If you are going to finish off the last of the bread, be prepared to have a generous amount of water. If you don’t have the water, don’t eat until you find some. Salty foods require even more water. Look at both your water and food supply before you go to town.

Store your food in a cool dark place if possible. Heat tends to shorten the expiration date of anything, including canned food. I know the powers out and the only light is the sun through your living room window. You can sort them there; just move them into the shadows when you’re done.

Keep a list of your food. You should really keep a list of everything, but at least do this for food. This is done for two reasons. 1. You can do some math in your spare time, and figure out at length how long it will last you and your family. 2. You can see if any food is being consumed outside of your knowledge.

Put your empties in trash bags, just as you do now. No reason to change your patterns there. Keep the full bags in the garage if needed. They will be fairly light and will take a while before they pile up.

Rationing: Almost limitless. Your energy levels will be reduced the more you ration, but you can greatly extend your time by rationing.

Where to get more: Abandoned homes, Grocery stores, bulk food stores, pharmacies, the corner gas station, and convenience stores without gas.

Secondary choices: Restaurants, Athletic clubs, office water coolers, commercial building vending machines, educational cafeterias.

Alternates: Places you wouldn’t expect like arts and crafts stores, specialty shops that have chocolate. Any shop that you can remember that has candy at the front for the kids will work. Gift shops and novelty stores are good examples of these. The average office or cube drawer has a variety of snacks that should keep for at least a few weeks.

Note: Food manufacturing plants are a source of supplies, but will be covered under looting: What not to do.

Food footnote: A word on cannibalism

There is a nearly 100% chance that you will not become a cannibal during the apocalypse. You are a good person and don't like to eat people. You do not have peer pressure from friends who eat people. There is a lot of cheap flavorful food available in America, most of which tastes better than people. Also, in order to eat another person they have to be either dead or held hostage. One way or another, you have to start with murder or kidnapping. Things tend to go downhill from there. You are neither a heartless killer nor a terrorist. You are also not a vampire, and receive no mystical powers from consuming human flesh and drinking human blood.

That being said, human flesh is edible meat like any other mammal, and does contain a generous amount of calories that your body can digest. Gross right? You would never in a million years, no matter how much money, no matter what the situation, eat your friends. I agree, I would rather resort to starvation rather than eat another person. The human drive to survive is extremely strong, and can in some cases, override the dignity in taking ones own life, instead turning to an act that even now I can only describe as "barbaric".

In most cases, an excruciating, drawn out physical hunger that blinds the palette and appetite, precedes the act of cannibalism. In these circumstances, people have been known to eat rotting food out of trashcans within one week. During the 900-day Siege of Leningrad (World War 2 Russia), people first turned on pets, birds, and rats. After this supply was exhausted, groups of starving Russians sought out lone individuals. These unlucky souls were then killed and summarily eaten. The city police had to form special units to deal with this problem.

The slippery slope from rats to people happens in a relatively short amount of time. A Rugby team crash-landed their plane in the Andes mountain range with no food, but they did have an unlimited supply of water in the form of snow. They remained there for 72 days. After several weeks they realized the search parties weren't coming. After a while longer, with no other resources, some turned to the frozen bodies of their dead teammates. It kept them alive long enough for the season to change. A small group then ventured out of the mountains to the nearest town. The movie based on the true story is called "Alive".

Tips for eating people: Try to do it in a cold environment. Snow is especially good for preserving all meat. Cooked meat keeps longer than raw, and can be stored for a short amount of time. I don't have any tips for curing human meat.

Question: If I do actually eat my neighbor, what will they taste like?
Answer: From documented reports, people taste almost identical to veal. Remember that the next time you're at a restaurant.


3. Light sources (Priority)

There are many survival guides that will tell you the third most important thing is either medicine or weaponry. I consider this to be utter crap. The third most important thing is a light source. You are in the dark. Without light you will be handicapped during the day, and crippled at night. You need to read labels, to read numbers, put things together, let alone see your family’s faces. Light is critical. Light is reassuring. We are drawn to it instinctually, and it makes us feel better to have it around. Light is great for morale, and morale is key during a time like this.

It’s why you have nightlights, streetlights, and hall lights. People don’t like the dark, the blackness. The darkness reminds us of the unknown, it feeds on our imagination, and not in a good way. Horror movies take place mostly at night. Where do monsters and bogeymen jump? The black of the shadows.

If the power goes out, there are several places in your own home that will very dimly lit, even during the middle of a sunny day. Interior bathrooms are normally dark, so are closets, basements, some entertainment rooms. Bigger houses have even more dim places. You need light when you search for supplies, no matter where you go.

And this is just during the day. At night, you will be totally dependent on artificial light.

So don’t let the lights go out. Even low light is better than no light. Today you're in luck. While America is known for it’s ample food, it is also known for it’s plentiful array of portable light sources.

Light comes in many different forms, both bright and dim. Some are mobile. Some are not. Since some light sources are good trade material, we’ll look at each one individually and you can determine what value can be placed.


Flashlights

Portable. Powerful. Directional. There is a huge amount of high quality flashlights at reasonable prices, most of which use LED bulbs. LED’s, or "light emitting diodes", are a heavy-duty solid-state bulb, which are technically classified as a low-level laser device. They never burn out, are practically indestructible, and draw much less power from the battery.

Because of this versatile technology, LED flashlights have exploded in recent years. There are basic lights, lamps, headgear, penlights, key chains, they’re everywhere! And they’re all good! Lucky you, it’s a great time to be alive in the world of portable light.

The only drawbacks to this kind of light, (you knew there were going to be some), are 1. The light emitted by an LED is more of a “moon light” rather than sun, so colors won't be as true. 2. As mentioned above, LED’s are considered to be a laser device, and shouldn’t be used to look into people’s eyes, nor should they be looked directly into. Long-term exposure may be hazardous.

Everyone should have at least one good flashlight lying around. The more common the battery it needs, the better. One theme that will be stressed both here and in several other item descriptions is “common usage.” The majority rules, and you should follow it. This means that whatever most people use in their house, like the basic battery types, you should use as well.

When it comes to flashlights, the most common batteries are: D (Toys, radios), C (toys, radios) AA (remotes, small toys), AAA (thin remotes, very small toys, laser pointers)

Most people will have some or not all of these battery sizes. Pick one or more types and buy a good flashlight, either LED or standard

Where to get more: Hardware stores, pharmacies, grocery stores, convenience stores, Sporting goods, outdoor stores, ski shops, novelty stores, the sharper image, gadget stores, just about everywhere! Getting a flashlight shouldn’t be that hard.



Lanterns

A good second choice for light sources, and they also come in wide ranges, some for camping, and others for in house use.

For a long time, lanterns came in only one flavor, which was the oil and wick type of the 1800’s. Some of these are very collectable now. These shouldn’t be your first choice because of their mostly glass housing. If these tip over and break, well, then you’ve got the Chicago fire all over again.

Since the 1970’s, lanterns were also built to run off butane and propane. In the 80’s fluorescent bulbs were introduced. Now, we have LED lanterns added to the list.

A lantern’s main purpose is to have non-directional light for a wide area. This is good for just sitting around, going through inventory, and in some cases looking into dark places. The only drawback for a lantern is that the light shines everywhere, including into your eyes, which makes looking into distant dark places a challenge.

It also illuminates your face, so people can see who you are sometimes before you can see them. This can either be a good or a bad thing, depending on the situation.

Lanterns also have a wide base, so you don’t need to be holding it for maximum effect. Flashlights can be awkward if you need both hands. Lanterns are a good tool to fill this gap.

Where to get them: Your choices are pretty limited for this type of item. Camping and sporting goods stores are the first choice. Some bulk and general stores may carry them. The occasional specialty store that carries some random camping gear isn’t bad either.

A secondary source if needed is abandoned houses. Lucky for you, a great deal of Americans try camping at least once, and then store all the sleeping bags, tents, and lanterns, in the attic, garage, or basement.



Candles

Ah, candles, the most romantic of the survival items. It’s also the oldest type of lighting still around. The light is hypnotic, and nothing soothes the nerves quite like the light of a solid candle flame. The candle and all it’s variants have followed the human civilization through the centuries. If there is one thing you can say about the candle, is that it is universal.

They are a solid replacement for the lantern, last a lot longer, and many give off a pleasant scent that can help mask some of the unpleasant aroma of the apocalyptic world.
The only real drawback to candles is the ones we always see in the movies or on television. The candle is a mobile open flame, which can ignite other materials. It also can be blown out without much effort. This is by design, but it can also work against you.

A candle should be your last resort if you are searching a dark area and need a mobile lighting device. Because your forward motion produces a relative wind, your speed is limited. No one gets to run away with a candle. It goes out, you trip and fall, and the masked serial killer gets you from behind with an axe.

Also, searching with an open flame can be hazardous: “Oh look! A gas main!” Queue explosion.

In America, good candles have gotten so trendy in the last 15 years that large stashes of them can be found in just about any decent sized town. They come in many different sizes, from tapered table to Giant five wick monstrosity living room candles that can burn for weeks. Chances are, you have candles tucked away in drawers that you don’t even know about. Go look!

Where to get more: Grocery stores, drug stores, department stores, general stores like target, wall mart, exotic furniture stores. There are even certain stores that sell nothing but candles!

Secondary choices: Abandoned houses should have a small supply of candles, whether it be dinner, table. Even birthday candles have some value!



Light sticks

This type of technology is only a few decades old, and in my opinion should be further along than what we have today, but any light is better than no light, and the light stick does have a few advantages that no other one has.

For those of you new to this light source: A light stick is a chemically created light encased in a clear flexible plastic tube. The tube is filled with one chemical. A second chemical is inside a small glass vial within the liquid. When you bend the plastic tube, the glass breaks, and the two chemicals mix like epoxy adhesive. Presto! Hours of low level, usable light.

They currently serve some specialized functions. One being they can be thrown into dark areas and stays lit no matter what. This can be helpful if you do not know how far down the rabbit hole goes, or even how deep a particular dark body of water is. They can also be hung off of items as markers. If storage is limited, a bag of these can be very handy.

I’ll admit, they science part is very cool. The drawbacks of the light stick are too many to consider it a primary light source. The light only lasts a short time, and is color skewed similar to the LED. The light isn’t very bright and would be difficult to read by. They stick itself isn’t rechargeable and has to be disposed of entirely.

However, having a few around isn’t a bad idea, and here’s why: Ease of use. Bend and shake. That’s it. No switches, no flame, no batteries.

Note: White should always be your first choice. Also, their chemical compounds break down over time. Treat them no different than batteries. Check the expiration dates and replace them every so often. The reaction in light sticks is temperature sensitive. The warmer you make the stick, the brighter it gets. This will diminish its glow time however.

Where to get more: Some camping stores, hardware stores.



Road flares

Standard issue road flares are more useful than you might think. Road flares have a limited range of environments. As a light source, they aren’t the best because of the dark red flame, which is deliberate as an emergency warning sign during traffic accidents.

They also can’t be used indoors because of the substantial smoke that is generated from the pyrotechnic compound burning. One exception to this would be in starting a fire in the fireplace. The smoke just goes up the chimney. As an ignition device it is pretty handy. 30 minutes or so of high temperature flame, which can be positioned by holding one end of the flare.

It is also the only flame-based device that can be waved back and forth safely if you wish to signal someone. You can also run with a flare if needed. Remember to hold the flare to the left or right of you while moving forward, to keep the smoke away from your face.

Road flares are also one of the only flame-based items, which need no ignition device. The top is like one giant match, and just needs to be rubbed briskly against something. This can be invaluable if water has drenched everything and you can’t get a dry fire started.

In a pinch, road flares can be used as a poor mans fuse. The flare burns uniformly at a steady rate. Attaching an item at some point on the flare will ensure that it will ignite. Keep in mind that the flare is bright, so if you are planning on using this as a timing device to “blow something up”, you may want to conceal it.

Note: Road flares shouldn’t be confused with "Marine" or underwater flares. Marine and underwater flares burn much hotter and give off a brighter light, sometimes being white rather than red. These flares create more smoke and if dropped in water, will keep burning. They can be extinguished by impacting them heavily onto a hard surface like cement, the hope being to knock off enough of a chunk of the burning tip that the underlying surface doesn’t catch. Road flares are not waterproof, and will go out if doused in water.

Where to get more them: Hardware stores, auto part stores, some general goods like target, Wal-Mart. Grocery stores with an automotive section, although some automotive sections are of the light variety and only carry things like air fresheners and quarts of oil.

Marinas will carry marine flares. Specialty shops that deal with scuba supplies will also have marine flare and underwater flare devices.



Matches

In most cases this will be your last source of light. We take matches for granted. The self-striking match has been embedded in our culture, especially when it comes to the smoking population. Because of them the apocalypse will most likely never be without matches. Thank you smokers!

Who cares about matches? You do if you don’t have any lying around. This shouldn’t be a problem. Everyone has matches, or lighters, or both. Even if you don’t smoke you probably have candles, which by default need matches. Older model gas fireplaces and stoves need matches. Birthday candles need matches. Fireworks need matches!

So if you smoke, and this is the only time I will encourage you, good job! You’ve got this one covered!

Lighters and matches are basically short-term candles, and the same rules apply. Don’t go wandering around a big closet filled with fireworks with a box of matches. Don’t crawl down a badger hole with a lighter. These are bad ideas.

Where to get more: Grocery stores, drug stores, specialty stores, restaurants that still allow smoking, general stores, convenience stores, all gas stations and truck stops, most bars.

Secondary locations: Abandoned houses, abandoned factories, abandoned meeting places of every kind. Special bonus hiding place: office drawers. You’ve got a 1 in 5 chance of finding some there. In the end of the world, those are good odds.

Note: Some matches will be more valuable than others, such as waterproof camping versions, or water resistant military version. The actual value may be off set by the huge abundance of lighters. Current estimates of lighters in America range from 50-200 million.

Still, even with the large numbers of lighters produced, it can’t hurt to several fire making materials. Pick up a few extra when you get a chance.



Vehicle headlights

The common automobile headlight is a paradox of sorts. It is by far the most powerful lighting device you own. It can light up a broad area for hours, it has a huge long life battery, and it recharges itself!
All that doesn’t do you much good while it sits inside a garage or out on the street. If you want to light up your basement, headlights aren’t going to help. Vehicles are mobile, which can give you some breathing room if needed. You have an outside project, which needs to be done at night. Using the headlights will be much more efficient than rigging up something with a lantern or series of flashlights.

Headlights are also great for security if the need arises. Criminals by nature tend to avoid bright light areas. Maybe a large beam of white light conjures up images of God exposing their sins. Nothing scares away intruders quite like high beams at short range. If you have a decent sized yard, the average vehicle can be moved into different positions facing the house, and can be used to illuminate areas that are next to a large glass door or window. Remember to run the engine every so often to keep the battery from running down. Low beams uses less energy than high beams, and will do the job just as well. High beams are good for illuminating large areas at some distance. Keeping your lights on is recommended if you are going to be using your vehicle for sleeping. Intruders are less likely to approach a well-lit vehicle.

Tip: When sleeping in your car, set an alarm every two hours. You can use the lights without a running engine for the first two, then turn on the engine for the next two. Repeat as necessary. Your battery will stay charged. This is important in case you need to make a quick exit.



Fireplace

It's unlikely, but there is a chance you don't have any portable light sources at all. The fireplace will have to do. It can also supplement your light if you are low on batteries, candles, or other devices. If you haven't used it in a while, make sure the check that the flue is open. If it's not, the first few minutes of your fire will be filled with smoke and coughing. Using a fireplace screen is always recommended to reduce the chance of embers popping out and burning things close to the brick.

Fireplace Tips: You're using your fireplace as much as possible. You've gone through the logs, and the lower branches on your trees, and your neighbor’s trees. You need something to burn! If it's heat and light you need, and you absolutely have to have it, then you will have to turn to paper products first, then possibly furniture you don't care about.

Look first to your recycle bin. It's ok; the truck isn't going to pick it up this week. Roll up the paper first. If you have rubber bands, you can make small paper or cardboard logs. If rubber bands are too small, try string or wire. Paper products will create more ash; so make sure to clean the fireplace more often. Other paper products you can use: Catalogs, the yellow pages, and older books. I wouldn't recommend burning the Bible, God hates that. Go through your closets, your basement, and your attic. Maybe you have a collection of National Geographic. Note that if you have Pornography tucked away, chances are someone in your family is going to find it. Better burn that when they're asleep.

After paper start looking at wooden shelving. Most of it is made of particleboard anyway. It should burn quite well. Try to stay away from plastics. They have the potential to create toxic smoke, and I don't want to see anyone hurt. Do not under any circumstances try to burn old tires. Tires create a huge amount of black smoke, they don't fit well in the fireplace, and they are difficult to extinguish. Burning a tire in the street as a distraction is ok, and would give you a real good idea of what it could do in your living room.



Generator

This fits into the light source category more than others, mostly because anyone that fires up a generator will probably try to get some electric lights working first.

Pros: The obvious. You have light again. You have power again. At the very least you can plug in multiple electrical items, like a freezer, a microwave, floodlights, power tools, air compressors, etc. In a best-case scenario, you could have your generator hardwired to
a fuse box, and if there were enough power, you’d hardly even know the lights went out in the first place. The power is yours, but how long can you hold onto it?

Cons: Generators use fuel, which is limited. How long you can use it depends on the fuel supply on hand, and what you can acquire. Generators can be noisy, and in a very quiet neighborhood, absent of all the white noise that used to drown out something like a generator, you will stick out like a sore thumb.

Drawing attention to your house isn’t exactly a good thing in a tense situation. People covet, people envy. Your neighbors want what you have and they don’t. Generators have to be placed in well-ventilated areas, which usually means they are outside. They are also fairly light. Two people can walk at a good pace carrying a generator. They can be disconnected easily. These things mean that yours will be outside, making noise, and giving you light, which also draw attention. Potential predators can see this from literally a mile away.

This isn’t to scare you or make you paranoid; it’s just the facts. Anyone with a generator has to acknowledge that it is a target of theft, or maybe worse. A smart thief will know that anyone who prepared enough to have light and power will also have other things, and now this motor running outside your house is covering the sound of their footsteps.

Where to get more: Hardware stores, some camping store, some bulk stores.



Batteries (Priority)

Like ammunition, batteries could be lumped with their main flashlight counterparts. What makes them different is that batteries have multiple devices that can be used. This item listing was created to define types, brands and potential devices, as well as the best place to find them.

Top 2 things you will be using batteries for: 1. Flashlights. 2. Portable radios.

Batteries equal light, and as discussed above, light will be a hot commodity, one that can be bartered for. Batteries are based on metal and dense chemicals, so they are heavier than other supplies. Keep this in mind before throwing a couple hundred D cells into a large container. Try picking that box up quickly without using your legs.

Batteries hold a charge for a limited time. The technology has gotten better, and right now the average lifespan of a good battery is about 6 or 7 years. In some cases a high-powered battery can go a year or two past that. Battery type means everything when it comes to lifespan. The more power the battery claims to have, the better it is. Your lights will be brighter, and your radio will last longer.

Brand names count for a lot when it comes to batteries. You get what you pay for. This isn't like knockoff designer jeans where a fake can look almost like the real thing. Look for batteries by name. The two brands that quickly come to mind are Duracell and Energizer. Both are outstanding, and in blind taste tests, really can't be told apart from one another. Everything else is a distant cousin, such as generic Eveready, ray-o-vac, and Kodak brands.

Many electronic manuals will tell you not to mix high power with low power batteries. While this is true in the civilized "why doesn't my DVD remote work from the kitchen" world, it doesn't hold water now. Mix away. You can even combine dead batteries with live ones in a pinch. You will get lower performance, but it's better than nothing at all.

Batteries seem to get cheaper every year, and bulk packs are everywhere. Having some spares in the basic four flavors is recommended. The most popular being D, C, AA, and AAA.

Tip: Battery testers can be found in a variety of places now, and can really be handy in an emergency situation. They usually run about $15 and can tell you if a battery is holding high, medium and low power. The testers run off of calculator batteries, which are quite common as well. In a trading post scenario, they are essential, because the average person can't tell good from bad when it comes to batteries, unless you were thinking of having a series of flashlights, and can judge based on the light output how valuable the battery really is.

Where to get more: Look around your house first. You will have some of what you need. Most of your remotes will use either AA or AAA. Large toys will use D and C. Small toys will use AA and AAA. Adult toys will use either AA or C.

Secondary choices: Grocery stores, Hardware stores, pharmacies, general store, bulk food outlets, electronics stores, toy stores, any place that sells any electronic devices will carry a supply of batteries.



Portable Radio (Priority)

What's going on in the world? Don't you wish that, somehow, you knew the answer to that question? World events don’t mean much to you right now. You're sitting comfortably on your plush sectional, flipping between stations on your digital cable, knowing with reassurance that at any time you can go to one of 50 different channels dedicated to the freshest and most interesting stories. You literally have news on tap, 24 hours a day.

And what if you don’t have access to the TV right now? Maybe you're family is hogging the remotes, pouring over entertainment delights. You still have the high speed Internet, with millions of different pages, telling you within seconds what's going on in every part of the globe.

If and when the power goes out, all that changes. Some of you may have already experienced this once or twice in your life. In those situations a radio or portable television is your only lifeline to the outside world. This is the information that could affect your course of actions. People will crave it more than the season finale of American idol. It is the one constant source of hope. You must find the signal, the message that lets you know the government is coming to help, keeps people going, keeps people motivated, and most importantly, helps keep people from turning on each other.

This is the one item that you won’t have to worry about. If you don't want to spend any effort, money or thought on a radio, then you don't have to. There is a 95% chance you already have one, specially built with a rechargeable battery, multiple bands and preset stations. Heck, it's even got heated seats! Yes, your car / truck radio is the easiest choice to find out what you want, when you want. Just get in, hit scan, and keep one ear glued to the dash.

The drawbacks for this convenience are glaring. You're now in your car, and not in your home. Cars can be vulnerable, especially if they are parked in the street. All vehicles have the ability to run the radio from inside the garage. This will be a relatively safe place to listen to world events. Remember to charge the battery by running the engine every so often. The radio doesn't draw much power off of a large car battery. Running the car for 20 minutes once a week should be fine to keep the energy level high.

Again, if you run the engine in the garage make sure that either the garage door is open, or you leave the garage while it's running. The carbon monoxide that a car exhaust creates tricks the brain into “not panicking” when your body starts to run out of oxygen. In short, you would just go to sleep and never wake up. It's estimated that around 1800 people a year, mostly intoxicated, accidentally fall asleep when they return home to their garage, with tragic results.

A car is the easiest of all radio solutions, but it is far from optimum. There are hundreds of different portable radio devices, some designed specifically for survival situations. The best radios cover frequencies other than the basic AM and FM. If you get a chance, pick one up that can deliver basic television audio as well.

Portable radios extend their battery time by using a small earpiece instead of a speaker. Ipod type headphones also work well with portable radio jacks. Having a few different radios gives better coverage when scanning all frequencies. They also come in handy if you are looking for something constructive your children can be involved with. A radio is after all, media based, and your kids will be anxious to hear about what’s going on as much as you.

If you have the extra money, picking up a digital radio with auto scan (similar to scan in your car) is worth the extra effort. Scan means more hands free time that you could spend doing other things. Very helpful if you're alone, or when everyone else is asleep.

Where to get more: Electronics stores, general stores, bulk stores, camping stores, hardware.

Secondary locations: - Office buildings (most will not have batteries inside), Abandoned homes, look for small radios such as I pods or older Walkman types.



Fire Extinguisher (Priority)

This device is constantly overlooked, but in an emergency situation it’s potentially a lifesaver. If you still have water pressure during a fire, then using water to extinguish flames isn’t a big deal. If the water is off however, the last thing you want to do is use up your remaining water supply to fight a fire. Chemical fire extinguishers can put out the flames without any liquid, saving you resources. If the fire spreads too quickly and you’re pretty sure that you won’t be able to contain it, then move what supplies you can out of the house, because there won’t be any fire engine sirens in the distance.

Fire Extinguishers can also be used as a non-lethal weapon in a desperate situation. Pointed at the face, it can temporarily blind or disorient the attacker. Note that it isn’t tear gas, and after the person takes a few moments to clear their eyes, they will most likely be even more enraged, so hit them with an iron skillet or get the hell out of there!

The supply items mentioned so far are essential, and if you have a decent amount of all of them, you can keep going for weeks, months, or more until help arrives. Congratulations, you get to live longer than your neighbors! Now it’s time to look at items that add to the quality of life.

Chapter 5: One man's trash


"Wealth is the slave of a wise man, the master of a fool" - Seneca

Once the priority items are taken care of, you need to look past just "living" and see how close you can get back to "normality". It's never going to be exactly the way it was, but with a little creative thinking, and some luck, you may be able to forge a comfortable niche for yourself. This is relative contentment. All the items in this next section fit this bill in some fashion. Again, these are not listed in any particular order, because the level of importance will depend on the group or individual. For example, first aid has been burned into our brains since childhood of being a necessity, and it can be, for small pain relief or minor injuries. A first aid kit is going to do little against a deep cut, let alone a bullet wound. It does however offer some psychological comfort and reassurance that someone can be helped if injured.

Others who are very "bathroom conscious" may see a portable toilet as holding a higher rank than say, a power inverter. After all the "creature comforts" come the vices, which again, depending on the individual, may be ranked number one. This is due mostly to the huge psychological impact of their addiction to the substance, for it provides distraction and comfort in real life. In a crisis situation like this, the level of comfort will be magnified many times, distorting the decision making process.

Cigarettes for example, slightly dull certain pain centers of the brain. Alcohol can repress short-term memory, judgment, and make pressing matters seem rather trivial. Prescription painkillers can alter reality to where the individual has forgotten their current situation entirely. As illogical as it seems to be taking these substances in a crisis situation, their value is considerably high, especially for those who have lost hope.



A word on Recreational Vehicles

For the suburban “armchair survivalist”, this represents the ultimate in apocalyptic luxury living. This was going to be a miscellaneous item, but it covers so many needs, both primary and secondary, that it’s considerable value in a crisis situation needs to be addressed.

The “RV” has evolved over the decades from a meager bed and chair to what now resembles a “rolling house”, fully equipped with multiple bathrooms, very comfortable seating and sleeping quarters, kitchen, and a myriad of electronics.

If you have one of these vehicles, or know a good friend close by who has one, consider this the primary living quarters for the duration. The recreational vehicle has several advantages over a house during an “end of the world situation.

Built in power conversion: All late model RVs have an advanced power grid, which converts electricity from its petroleum engine to regular current. Everything you need is already hard wired into the bus. As long as the engine has fuel, everything will function like it does in “normal” life. This is what the RV was designed to do, create a home like environment in places where there is no power and plumbing.

The metal home: Except for the fuel supply, RV’s are much more resistant to extremes than homes. They are designed to hold up well against wind, rain, and heat. They are also made of metal, which means the chances of an exterior fire breaking out are reduced.

Advanced information: In addition to the standard radio frequencies, many RVs have communication bands. Higher end models may even have a direct television dish, which can run if a neighborhood power grid is disabled. This will give the RV owner visual news that other homeowners will not have access to.

Hot meal ready: Mobile homes like the one pictured above have a self contained cooking facility which will run one either electricity or gas. Meals can be cooked at leisure. If the gas runs out, the on board microwave can be a suitable substitute.

Extended lifespan: It is true that RVs get terrible gas mileage, and the fuel can be used up quickly if there is no place to refill. If the vehicle is running the engine without moving, the fuel will be consumed at a much slower rate. An RV tank is generally many times larger than that of a common car. This will provide power over a long period of time if rationed wisely.

Mobility: In the event of an added emergency, like a fire, earthquake, or flood, the RV can be moved to a safer location. This can be very convenient if a neighborhood is located with better protection than your own.

Entertainment: A minor benefit in a crisis situation, but always good for morale. The RV’s entertainment systems, be it music, DVD, or video games, are still functional as long as the battery and engine have power. These things can significantly lower stress levels of yourself and your family.

Note: RVs are not bulletproof. Their metal skin can slow down and sometimes deflect small caliber ammunition, but it will not protect you against larger caliber rifle rounds.



First Aid Kit (Optional)

Note: In most survival supply lists, the first aid kit is put somewhere near the top. While treating minor injuries is important, a first aid kit cannot replace the basics of water, food, and the ability to see clearly, so I put it down a couple pegs into the optional section. I know there will be some arguments about how infections can lead to a life threatening situation. This does not change the fact that the average household first aid kit can't even treat deep cuts. We will cover this more later.

You're out of your element, out of your routine. You and your family will be doing things inside the house they don't normally do. Lifting, pulling, dragging, sorting, opening, filling, all the while in environments that are different than what they are used to. Mistakes will be made. Someone will drop something, run into something, or more likely, something will run into him or her.

Cuts, bumps, bruises are all part of the game. A first aid kid helps not only physically, but also psychologically. A band-aid does wonders for the soul, especially in children. Now if they could only package a kiss to make it better.

First aid kits vary in size from the pocket version to a full blown med kit, which can treat moderate wounds. Pick up a few, one for the home, and one for the car. Good ones include multiple size bandages, gauze, some aspirin, alcohol pads, and maybe a few lower end surgical tools.

Where to get more: First aid kids are limited in general population. General stores, camping stores, anything dealing with the outdoors.

Secondary choices: Most companies, regardless of size and type, will have at least one first aid kid on the premises.



Light Pharmaceuticals (Optional)

Never underestimate the power of low-grade painkillers. They take them for headaches, backaches, stomachaches, arthritis, joint inflammation, and sometimes even stress. Speaking of stress, did I mention that you are involved in what could quite possibly be the end of civilization as we know it? Something tells me that the over the counter painkillers are going to be a popular item.

Brand names will matter at first, but will lose their preference over time. Start out with the well known. Tylenol, Excedrin, and all their variants. Aspirin will never go out of style. Antihistamines, allergy relief, stomach relief, anything you can remember seeing a commercial for has value in this bizarre reality you now live in.

Where to get more: The usual suspects, grocery stores, pharmacies, convenience stores, general stores, gas stations. Should be easy to find in generous quantities.



Power Inverter (Optional)

For those of you who haven't seen these, they are a great substitute for a full-blown generator, and here's why: The power inverter plugs into the cigarette lighter of your vehicle and coverts it so that you can plug in regular household items. The premise is that your car / truck already has the engine to generate the juice; all you need is the adapter. They cost about 1/4 the price of a generator, and weigh about the same as a laptop computer. I can't say enough about this option. If you want quick power, without worrying about theft, this may be for you.

Let's look at it a little closer. Say you need to use a power saw to cut or build something critical next to, or in your home. You just start the car in the garage (garage door open), hook up an extension cord, hit the car alarm and away you go. If you have to go some distance, you just get in the car and drive there. Generators need 2 people to carry it easily. Best of all, you can use the power even if the car isn't running. Be careful though. Once your car battery is drained, you will need to jump it from another vehicle.

Where to get more: Very limited supplies. Specialty camping stores, RV dealerships, some boat dealerships. Your best bet is online.

Secondary locations: None. You're best bet when the power goes out is to steal the whole RV or large boat, because they have them built in!



Water purification tablets (Optional)

Water purification tablets are small aspirin size tabs that can be added to a suspicious water source, killing most of the harmful germs that can lead to some intestinal problems. The value of these won't be high during the first week. Most bottled water and confirmed safe water will be used up first. After that will be rainwater. This should be purified just to be safe. Drinking your rainwater today might be completely harmless. A few weeks after a crisis situation, without accurate news to tell you of potential contaminants, can produce problems.

Purification tablets are a good trading item. Everyone will want piece of mind when it comes to drinking water. It's a safe bet that if you stock up on these, they won't go to waste.

Where to get more: Very limited supply. Camping stores, hardware stores, and some general stores.

Substitutions: 4-16 drops (depending on quality of water) of generic laundry bleach per gallon of water, mix well. Boiling water can help in a pinch. In a perfect world, everyone would own an old type still, used to make moonshine. This still can make purified water (with a heat source to boil), hence the term, distilled water. Distilled water creates no residue when it dries, because the particles are too heavy to be carried with the water vapor that is created.



Sleeping bags (Optional)

Bedding in America is plentiful. Sleeping bags fall somewhere in between optional and priority, especially with families. We learn as both children and parents that when things get scary, the family likes to sleep in the same room, most commonly the parent’s bedroom.

This instinct will be even more prominent in a long-term power outage. A good place for the entire family to sleep could be the bedroom, but more likely it will be a living or family room, wherever the fireplace is. People sleep around campfires, and the light from the fireplace will have the same mental effect. It's light, it's heat, and it’s reassuring.

Sleeping bags have different temperature ratings; so pick one that is suitable for your climate. Most homes without heat will drop to near outside temperatures within a few days, regardless of the type of windows. An active fireplace will help, but if it's 55 degrees outside, expect 59-60 inside.

Sleeping bags are also portable. They can easily be moved from one house to another, or from a house to a refugee center. Bags that can withstand lower temperatures will be thicker and heavier to carry. Keep that in mind if you plan to travel anywhere on foot.

Where to get more: Limited locations. Camping stores, some bulk stores, some general stores.

Secondary locations: Abandoned homes

Substitutions - Bedding from existing sleeping quarters, extra blankets lying around.

Tip - If you use existing bedding, don't bring everyone's mattress into the living room. It will make it difficult to walk around during the day. Try to treat this area like a camping situation.



Tent (Optional)

Tents always seem to pop up in survival documents. I agree they have usefulness, if you're in the woods or other environment without pre-built structures. This isn't that place. You're an average American. You've most likely been camping what, once or twice in your life? No need to start going down that road now. Tents provide no protection in a suburban environment. I don't even recommend them if your house has a big hole in the ceiling and it's raining on you. You simply can't see enough once you're inside. With the front flap closed you are blind.

Does this mean you should avoid tents entirely? Not at all. If by some chance you do venture out into a wilderness area, you'll be glad you have it.

Gasoline (Optional)



I’ve had a few people ask me if I was going to add this to the list. I had mixed feelings about it. It is by far and away the most important resource from an economic standpoint. Gasoline is a strange product, almost ethereal in a way. It isn't electricity, but it can generate it if needed. It's not a battery, but it can charge one. It can be both used to make medicine and weaponry.

It is the sole reason our civilization, especially the United States, has achieved so much growth over the last 100 years. In a severe crisis situation, it will probably be consumed so quickly, be used up at such an alarming rate, that within a few weeks, only very small pockets will exist in an average American city.

But then again, maybe the decrease in supply will be slower, more methodical. It all depends on what the average Joe does. As mentioned earlier, you will either stay or leave your current location in favor of one that gives you a better chance. If you go, the fuel in your car, which is the only fuel you have on hand, gets used during the drive. If you stay, you will have anywhere between 1 to 20 gallons of gasoline sitting in your vehicles tank.

Other than power generators, which will be few and far between, this gas, will be used to power your vehicle. It can be transferred to another car via a siphon (hose). It can also be stolen using the same siphon (see looting). Cars mean mobility, and this mobility has value. Gas can be stored in a car without any problems for 6 months or so. By then there will be a lot of siphoning going on. I'm still trying to work out the potential logistics because there is a real unknown factor to be considered. Where would you go if you had a full tank of gas? If family were more than a tank away, then it would have to be local. There is no work commute. You aren't dropping the kids off at school. Most looting is done on foot, unless you have a group to do it with.

Gasoline is the unknown factor in the grand equation. There will be a large supply available, but it will be broken up into hundred and thousands of smaller supply groups. If a trading post could be established, gasoline would still be the most sought after resource. People would trade things for gasoline, and fill their vehicle. They would then have options and the freedom to go places. They wouldn't have direction though. I suppose they would be trading for the mobility option alone. In case they needed to take off, they could. There will be some people who will create Molotov cocktails (glass bottles filled with gasoline, a small piece of burning cloth attached to the bottle) they have very few practical uses in an apocalyptic situation.

Where to get more: Gas stations (good luck getting that with a siphon), marinas, private airfields, any abandoned car, truck, boat, or plane.

Tip: Airplane fuel is a higher octane and shouldn't be used in car engines if possible. In a pinch it can be mixed with regular gasoline. Your engine will run hotter, and should not be used to tow objects or climb steep hills during that time.

Tip: Larger trucks run on diesel fuel, which will not work in regular gasoline engines. Diesel fuel smells much different than gasoline. It is still valuable for larger vehicles.



Gasoline siphon (Optional)

Gas Siphons haven’t changed much over the years. In the old days, and by that I mean ever since the car was invented, people used a short length of hose to siphon gas from vehicles. All you need is suction (usually human powered) to get the gas flowing, and then you could run it into a container outside the car.

The unpleasant drawback is that the person doing the sucking is going to get a mouthful of gas when it first clears the tube, no matter what. No one tells you that part; sort of like the person getting CPR has a 90% chance of throwing up in the mouth of the person resuscitating them. Gross. Gasoline won't kill you, even if you swallow it. I don't recommend drinking it. It tastes terrible, much like a bad moonshine! Gas Siphons are built with a small hand pump, which does the sucking for you. If you don't own one already, and you think you will be using or trading gas, you may want to invest the 20 bucks. If not? Get a short piece of garden hose and get ready to start sucking.

Tip: Do not think you came up with a clever idea and use a wet / dry vacuum to start the suction process out of the car. The vacuum does suck liquids, but it also runs on a motor. The motor has internal sparks. The gasoline vapor may catch fire, burning up the dry vacuum and spreading to the car.

Where to get more: Auto parts store.



Gasoline cans (Optional)

This was going to be included with the siphon, but there are some important tips here that should be mentioned separately.

Tips: Proper gas cans will either be heavy RED plastic or metal in nature. Look carefully at the container to see if it has warnings about storing gasoline. If it does, you CANNOT use it to hold fuel for extended periods of time. Here's why: Petroleum is one of the major ingredients in most plastics. Because of this, it has a tendency to break down and dissolve lower level plastic containers. Tupperware will not work. Milk or water jugs will buckle and burst. You should only used “marked” gasoline containers.

Where to get more: Auto parts stores, some general stores, any store with an automotive section. Gas stations will have a limited supply of mostly 2-3 gallon containers.

Substitutions - Any metal container with a small top opening. I do not recommend large 5-gallon metal paint containers because they have such a large top lid.



Cash (Optional)

Even in the late 1980's, cash was one of the top ten things to include in a survival pack. Today, it's value declines to almost nothing within 72 hours.

Here's why: Most stores, no matter what type, run on advanced electronic registers. They use laser bar code scanners and registers that calculate tax automatically. When the power goes out, the stores will be crippled. A Mom and Pop shop may run manual calculators and take cash. The problem is that no one will have it. People rarely carry any substantial amount of physical currency. Credit cards are the rule of the day. The ATM machines need power to run.

I still don't keep any cash lying around. I do this because the grocery store, pharmacy and gas station within walking distance will just shut down in the event of a power loss. Everyone will just wait. The only situation I can think of where money might be helpful is using the cash to bribe someone who 1. Works at a place that has something I need, and 2. Is dumb enough to take it, not knowing that within a week, food and water will be the new currency.

If you doubt this, and some will, try this exercise. Imagine you had $500 in 20 dollar bills tucked away in a shoebox. Try to spend all of it in the first 72 hours of a long-term power outage. Then try to spend the rest of it a week later.

Where to get more: Just find a cash register, and open it. Banks are good too. If I see someone actually looting a bank a week or two in, I'm going to ask them what exactly are their long-term plans. Chances are they won’t have any.



Extra clean clothes (Optional)

All your disaster movies seem to have the heroes looking dirty and tattered after a short time. Real life news stories seem to mimic this in different ways. The point is people get grubby in a hurry. The world is full of dirt and grime. Your everyday clothes are vulnerable. They can get wet; suffer smoke damage, and get covered with mud. Don't let the end of civilization stop you from looking your best!

That's not just shallow advice. People feel better when they're clean, except for maybe football linemen, mud wrestlers and bikers. Keeping a few changes of clothes in a sealed plastic container is always a good idea during situations like this. You've just been running away from zombies for the last 2 hours, you stink! How do you think you're self esteem is going to hold up when you try to hold your son or daughter and they say, "Mommy, you smell like ass".

Even a few outfits, something simple like jeans and a t-shirt (always a good apocalyptic classic), some socks, underwear, would be enough. Put them in a garbage bag; store them in a box or high shelf of a closet.

Where to get more: All clothing stores.

Secondary choices - Abandoned houses will have lots of extra clothing, although you may end up wearing a God awful Hawaiian Muumuu or a t-shirt that says something like "I'm with stupid", which is oddly appropriate now.



Backpack (Optional)

You may need to make a quick exit. A backpack is just common sense. You only have two arms, and that Batman style utility belt isn't going to hold everything and the kitchen sink.

Lots of kids carry backpacks now, from primary on up through college. Go take theirs. It's not like they were learning anything.

Tip: When loading a backpack, try to keep the heavy items at the bottom, and things you need to get to quickly towards the top. A weapon doesn't do you much good if you're doing that whole back scratching movement, flailing to find something you can't see.

Where to get more: Camping and outdoor stores, some general stores, some bulk stores.



Toilet water (Optional)

Remember that toilets work on gravity. They don't need incoming water to function. Without running water they will need to be filled up. It may seem like a luxury, until you're copping a squat in a bucket. Do what you can to keep the toilet working. Trust me, it's the little things that matter.

The good news: You can use just about any liquid to fill the back of the toilet. Pond water, stream water, rain water, you name it. Just get a container and fill it from time to time. I know it's heavy, but you're motivated.

Tip: If there is a large supply of pond water, get it during the day, and let your neighbors know what you're up to. They may follow your example, and their houses will smell a bit better too.

Tip: Conserving water is a good idea, but don't wait too long to flush. Your mood will already be bad enough without having to flush an apocalyptic toilet. Ick.

Where to get more: Any place that has a generous amount of non-potable (not drinkable) water.



Toilet paper (Optional)

Logic dictates that you should be eating less as food resources start getting scarce, but you will need to use the lieu from time to time.

Someone once wrote: "the apocalypse doesn't officially start until the toilet paper runs out". I love that quote. It's meaning is simple: We take for granted the little conveniences that make our lives easier, and when these things are removed, it just pisses us off. Toilet paper is one of these. We use it every day for various tasks. We fight over who left the empty roll on the holder. We laugh as the cat discovers that it spins! We watch Seinfeld as Elaine asks if she can spare a square.

You've just run out, oh crap! There are no easy answers here. You either have it or you don't. Ration out your squares people!

Where to get more: General store, grocery, pharmacies, bulk stores, some convenience.

Secondary locations: Abandoned homes, any abandoned building with a bathroom.

Substitutes:

Sub 1 - Kleenex type tissue. This type of tissue is softer than toilet paper, but doesn't dissolve well in septic systems. You are now free and clear to use these at will.

Sub 2 - Paper napkins / Paper towels. Depending on the type and brand, tend to be rougher than normal TP. They also don't dissolve well in sewer systems.

Sub 3 - Any other regular paper product from newspaper to copy machine stacks. Brace yourself. If you are the tender backside type, it is going to be an eye opening experience. The good side is that you will never complain about generic toilet paper again.

Advanced tip: If you absolutely cannot find any paper products, you can use small squares of cloth, but don't flush them down the toilet. They tend to jam up pipes quickly. Treat them like dog poop in a city. Put it in a small bag and tie it off. After a while you may think about burying or burning it.



Sponge (Optional)

After a few days of not taking a shower, you're going to start getting pretty gamy. A few days after that and your dog is going to think about rolling in you. Do yourself and the people around you a favor, and wash up. What? No running water? No problem! This is a very old trick taken from the healthcare community. Sponge baths! Bucket of water, some soap, and of course, a sponge.

Go into the bathroom with maybe a candle, preferably scented, and scrub yourself down. This may even be fun with a spouse involved, or maybe not. Get the kids washed up too. You don't want them catching anything. Just about any sponge will do, big ones hold the most water. You can also use them to get water on top of your head. It's soothing, relaxing, and gives you a chance to unwind a bit. Yes you are vulnerable while partially or completely naked. If you're worried about a break in, consider that the least amount of crime occurs at sunrise and sunset.

.Where to get more: General stores, some convenience stores, some bulk stores, any place that sells cleaning supplies.

Secondary locations: Abandoned homes (Make sure to rinse out any sponges that smell like cleaning products), any company’s janitor closet.

Substitutes: Washrags work just about as well, but don't hold as much water.



Portable stove (Optional)

You can eat your food cold, but why? There is a reason why they call them hot meals, it's because they taste better than cold meals. Heating up food is a time-honored tradition. It improves morale. Imagine smile on your children’s faces as they are eating a hot bowl of, raccoon casserole. I'm kidding. It's squirrel.

A portable cooking station is a great way to bring people together. The heat lets the aroma out, gets peoples appetites up, and even makes the food seem better than it really is. Think of all the fond kitchen memories you have of someone close to you cooking a delicious meal and the smells surrounding it.

Anything that runs propane is a great choice, because it can be set up anywhere. If you do acquire one, make sure to get extra fuel for it. This is by far the most relevant quality of life item, because even though rations will keep you alive, it's little things like hot cooked food that make life worth living.

Where to get more: Camping stores, some bulk outlets, some hardware stores:

Substitutes: You have a couple, so no excuses; fix your family a hot meal!

Sub 1. Gas grill, if you have it. The propane in those tanks should hold you for a week or so. Use pans on top and cook with lid closed to increase heat efficiency.

Sub 2. The fireplace. Burn the wood or paper under the grating, and use a pan with a lid to keep any stray ash out.



Portable toilet (optional)

If your regular throne is broken, or if there isn't enough disposable water to run it, you will have to start looking at options. The portable plastic toilet is a good substitute.

These vary in shapes and size, but the cheapest and easiest to make and use are standard 5 gallon buckets with a cheap plastic lid in the shape of a toilet seat. The portable toilets are meant mostly for hunters who think it's fun to spend their Fall days getting drunk in the woods while sitting in a deer blind. Good times! They work with a garbage can type liner that collects the good stuff. You then tie off the bag and bury it. I recommend burying it somewhere the dog can't get to it. You'd rather have your canine rolling in an old moose carcass than bringing one of those bags back into the house. “Daddy, the dog’s breath smells worse than you do”!

This is a "just in case" item. If the power runs out your toilet will still work as long as the water is on. When the water is off you can still fill the tank. All well in good, but maybe there is an earthquake, and the toilet cracks, making it unable to hold water? That is where the portable version comes in. Let’s hope you never have to use it.

Where to get more: - Camping stores.

Secondary locations - Abandoned houses of people that hunt.

Substitutes: Does a yuppie crap in the backyard? They will if they don't have a toilet.



A good hat (Optional)

This may seem like a ridiculous item. It's not. I don't have a lot of hair and I still bought one. I'm not thinking of me here, I'm thinking for those people with good hair. You know who you are. I hate you, and yet, I still try to help. You good hair types are going to be taking sponge baths now, and washing your hair isn't going to be high on your list of things to do. Fend off zombies, check. Steal gas from neighbor’s car, check. Wash hair, nah.

Hats get hair out of the way. Hats let you do more active things without worrying about it. Ever been river rafting or seen pictures of people river rafting? People wear a lot of hats. Hats give you some protection. You could go with something more elaborate, like a bike helmet, but then people will just ask “where ya headed”? You could wear a plastic construction hat, and then people will ask you to help them with their water or power because they think you work for the city. How about an army style helmet? Eh, probably too militant for your neighborhood. Stick with something simple. Your kids may also like hats; it's like dress up!

Cloth baseball type caps are good. Try to stay away from the nylon and foam types. Darker colors are better because they don't show grime as much. White foam caps that say "keep on truckin" or "best friends forever” are right out. I will be looking for you people. Black hats with a Harley Davidson might be more appropriate considering the situation.

Where to get more: Sporting good stores, camping stores, clothing stores, especially towns with a college. College kids love hats.

Secondary choices: - Abandoned homes, Some companies will give these out as promotional materials to clients, although, the more I think about it, don't loot a company warehouse just for hats, that's silly, unless it's a Harley Davidson hat.



A good pair of boots (Optional)

Good shoes. Need I say more? A good pair of footwear can mean all the difference. The world is burning around you. Those 8-year-old flip-flops with the broken strap aren't going to cut it. Neither are those 4-inch pumps. I don't care if they're more comfortable than they look. It's dark. You're going to be stubbing your toe into all sorts of new things. You're going to drop a variety of items from chest level, and they are going to land somewhere near those oh so delicate clodhoppers of yours. Protect them, with a solid pair of shoes.

Pretend you were going to go camping. You never go camping, I see. Just pretend! What would you wear? Put those on now, and keep them on. No, snow boots are not the same thing, neither are galoshes. High top basketball shoes are better; something with a steel toe would be nice. Of all the items of clothing, this should be the first choice when looking around.

Where to get more - Shoe stores, camping stores, some hardware, some ski shops.



Police scanner (Optional)

Some years ago I ran into a group of guys who on a regular basis, would get drunk on happy hour martinis, eat a bunch of oysters, and talk about robbing a bank. Invariably, one of their items in this robbery fantasy was a police scanner.

This is a very optional item. As mentioned earlier, local law enforcement is going to go offline within a few days. There may be a crusader or two out there trying to keep the streets safe. This device allows you to listen into all emergency band frequencies within the city limits. It's a pretty safe bet what you will hear is an increasing level of activity immediately after the blackout, which keeps building until there is a head to head conflict with a mob of some sort. This is where the intensity peaks, followed by a sharp decrease as law enforcement either deserts or moves to a safe location. After a while, you might hear some civilians on those channels as police units are stolen.

It's an intriguing item. They are pretty expensive for what you get out of them. Tapping into the emergency bands of a town could tell you a great deal about where trouble is, and more importantly, where emergency vehicles are. You could use this information to find the nearest fire or police vehicle in case you had injured or sick people in your party.

Or, you could find out where the police and fire units were not.

Where to get more: Specialty electronic stores, Radio shack, some pawnshops.



Hearing protection (Optional)

Soldiers wear them. The firing range requires them. Your long-term hearing is important. Then again, so is your short term. Anyone who has ever fired a gun without hearing protection, or had a very loud explosion noise go off next to their head doesn’t need an explanation. To the rest of you, I'll explain. A firearm round is not only propelled by a small explosive charge, but most bullets break the speed of sound right out of the barrel. Sound travels like ripples on the water. If they are used outdoors, the sound disperses quickly, depending on obstacles next to you. Inside a house, they dance around and play havoc with your eardrum.

Trust me when I say this. Firing a shotgun in a hallway or bedroom has a chance of disorienting you. The sound will bounce off the walls and seem to come at you from all sides. Your ears will ring loudly, and that ringing won't fade for some time. Make it easy on yourself and take the sound out of the equation. You don't need the added distraction of a temporary hearing loss. The flash of the gun, the shock of it pushing against your hand or shoulder, will be quite enough.

Having hearing protection also can give you an added advantage in a gunfight that takes longer than 10 seconds. If your opponent isn't using any, he / she will be hearing impaired after their first shot. You will be able to hear their footsteps or their weapon action. They may even be dumb enough to yell over the ringing at anyone behind them. I recommend wearing them every time you're carrying a firearm. Can't be too careful.

Where to get more: Hardware stores, some auto parts stores.

Secondary choices: Manufacturing plants, shooting ranges.



Manual can opener (Optional)

At one point I think I had five different can openers in storage. Over the last ten years, food-packaging technology, especially in convenience-oriented America, has gotten a lot better. Most soup cans now have pull-tab tops, which require no tools whatsoever. This is the same for some canned meats and vegetables, tuna fish, etc. I would expect that within the next five years, just about all cans to have this type of opening system.

However, this is not necessarily true for large bulk food can items you might find at Costco or a restaurant supply house. These items haven't seen an increased demand for ease of use. As long as there are regular can tops out there, you should acquire one or two can openers. Why? Because your electric can opener doesn't work any more.

Where to get more: Hardware stores, Grocery stores, some bulk food stores, some camping supply stores.

Secondary choice: Abandoned homes.



Two way radio (Optional)

Two-way radios have improved a great deal in the last 30 years, with some models running up to 25 miles or more. They're small in size, and usually come with cool extras like power saving features, hands free talk options, and multiple channels for security. In short, they are cell phones that can be used within city limits.

If you plan on being alone the whole time, the two-way radio isn’t going to be of much use, unless you're really bored. If you have a friend, and I really hope you do, then you now have long distance communication that can be helpful during scout missions, looting, defending, just about anything. Don't overlook this item. All law enforcement units, including special weapons teams use them. You should too.



Deck of cards (Optional)

There is something I need to tell you about the apocalypse. There is no net flix. You can fiddle with your Play station controls all day; it's not going to work. Americans are addicted to entertainment that is based on electricity. Without it, some people will really think the world has ended.

It's times like these we have to return to the basic forms of entertainment that kept all the generations before us occupied. Board games, physical games, and of course, cards. There are hundreds of different card games and some believe or not, are pretty engaging! It wasn't that long ago that my family spent the evenings teaching me all the rites of passage in old school entertainment: Yahtzee, Boggle, Sorry. Maybe those are too easy. How about Trivial Pursuit or Pictionary? Want something that takes a long time? Get the kids into a 4-hour marathon of Monopoly or Risk.

A little leisure goes a long way. It distracts you from the rest of the world. Who wants to think about giant radioactive spiders all day? Games are as old as humanity. The only difference in this type of world is that we have to take a step back and adjust to having fun without electronics. Oh yes, there will be holdouts. The game boys will be used until the little screens go dark. Some people will fire up generators just to play Madden 2010.

This is especially for the kids, who are going to create their own games if none are provided. You do not want them making up stuff like “pin the tail on the giant three-headed rabbit” or “who can hit the mutant with the most flaming tennis balls”. It just angers the mutants and that's not fun for anyone.

Keep your urchins (and yourself) busy with a wholesome family game. Winners get extra rations. Losers get a cold sponge bath, or have to use bathroom tissue made out of copy paper. Let them pick. It adds to the fun.

Where to get more: Toy stores, general stores, any place that sells games. Some convenience stores.

Secondary choices: Abandoned homes.